(-: The Philosophy of Leowism :-)

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Post-exam Stress

Today happens to be the second last day of the exams!

*celebrates*

After the Hari Raya holidays, we pitiful students will have to sit for Modern Maths Paper 1 (which is multiple choice, yipee-yay) and... PJK!

No, it's not what it looks like! PJK doesn't stand for Physics for Junior Kytogenarians!

All right... you caught me... I made the K word up, hehe. Seriously, there is NOTHING that begins with a K that would match the above context, but I digress.

PJK is merely Physical Education. For some strange unfathomable reason, the government has decided to include it in our syllabus in spite of the fact nobody actually TEACHES us the syllabus. Or does that only happen in my school?

Then again, who cares? I'm not going to study for it. I'm going to GO ONLINE and HAVE FUN... you hear that, Education Ministry?? I am NOT CARING about your PJK exam!!! NOT CARING!!! *psychotic laughter*

SPM-format exams have already reduced me to an unstable, psychotically-laughing lunatic.

Sorry, sorry, mistake... I was born that way... *bwahahaha*

Thanks to higher secondary education, my once flawless skin (well, almost) succumbed to-

*gasp*

PIMPLES!!!

*dun dun dun*

*shiver*

My blemished face will make little kids cry...

*Leow gives a friendly smile*

"Why, hello there, child! Would you like a sweet?"

"AHHHHHH!!! MUMMY!!! M-M-MONSTER!!!"

*kid runs away screaming, scarred for life by the horror that is Leow's pimple*

Even walking into the bathroom can be scary, because sometimes I catch a glance of my reflection...

*humming happy music*

"La la la... dum dee dum dee dum... happy happy happy, la la laa-AAAHHHH!!! What the hell was that???!! Oh cheh... just a laterally-inverted image of my ugly, pimply-fied face."

Stress does this to all of us. So, the lesson to be learnt here is DON'T COME TO FORM 4... drop out of school and be a farmer, haha. Alternatively, be an ice-cream vendor! It has proven to be a very successful business (see SMK Taman Melawati's Gate B for evidence).

This is a 100% crappyrighted work of fart by Welo and was blogged out @ 10:54 PM
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Monday, October 02, 2006

Mucho gracias and dank u (German, right?) to Alicia Low (look, I wrote your name in purple!Hehe), for her great help with my template!

You can now leave comments the normal way.

Still, don't let the chatterbox go to waste, haha.

This is a 100% crappyrighted work of fart by Welo and was blogged out @ 3:09 AM
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*sigh*

Exams, exams, exams. Here they come again.

What could we do but study and hope for the best?

So I studied.

Then I fell sick. Nice. A sore throat and running nose to keep me company while I try very hard to remember who was the genius who came up with the public examination system.

Who WAS that guy?? Was his name even mentioned???

Fat load of good studying's done me. Tsk.

No matter. I couldn't change anything about it. Remember one of my previous lessons? Always look on the bright side... (something like that lah, haha). At least the sickness would give me a good reason to sleep early without feeling as guilty.

Few days later, the mucous begins to dry up. It didn't even turn greenish-yellow. Surprising.

So, it's back to studying, studying, studying.

*thinks* Hmm... sitting up very uncomfortable-lah. Butt also very pain already. Lie down-lah.

*lies down*

*continues reading*

Ahh crap... hingus (mucous) coming out...

*reaches for tissues*

Lesson to be learnt: Do not EVER blow your nose while lying on your back.

*shudder*

All... that... slime... urgh. Hingus all over the side of your face is not pleasant at all.

*Leow puts on a labcoat and a pair of thick glasses and an afro wig (in bad imitation of Einstein)*

"Ladies and gentlemen, according to the law of gravity, every substance is subjected to a force known as gravitational force. This force will pull objects DOWNWARDS. This includes hingus!"

Hmm, actually, I should've pretended to be Newton. Oh well.

Behold the effects of gravity. -.-

This is a 100% crappyrighted work of fart by Welo and was blogged out @ 2:37 AM
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Saturday, September 23, 2006

Let's see.

Here I am again, staring at the computer screen with nothing to say.

However, it is a heinous crime to have a blog and not use it (*cough* like SOME people), so something must be said.

Let us consider a highly considerable topic- canteen food.

What about canteen food?

Firstly, it is POISONOUS. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it may come as a shock to all of you to find out that the overpriced carcinogens you purchase can cost you a few years of your life.

I'm such a pessimist.

Surely canteen food is not THAT bad.

Exclusive article ::: Canteen Myths

1. Cockroaches are part of the menu, and are used as flavouring for SMK Taman Melawati's mee hoon, fried rice, etc. etc.

Aw, that's-

Hm. True, actually.

There was this poor boy, who was unfortunate enough to have spent a few bucks on a plate of fried mee hoon only to realise the source of protein wasn't exactly ikan bilis.

Oh no, those brown oval things were definitely not Iranian dates. Not that people usually add Iranian dates to fried mee hoon, anyway.

2. The canteen has terrible hygiene standards.

*bellows with laughter*

I dare any Melawatian to deny that with a straight face.

Here are some statistical facts to support the above statement. *note: the 'normal people' stuff was based on an average calculation, of course...*

Utensil of choice to chop chicken
Normal people : Chopping board
Canteen people: Floor. As in like, the same one you step on.

Tablecloth material
Normal people: Cotton or other synthetic fabrics.
Canteen people: 80% mildew. I don't want to know the rest.

Utensil used to pack food
Normal people: Scoop or those clip thingies (can't remember what they call them. Comments welcome)
Canteen people: Bare hands.

It's a wonder how they ever passed the Health Ministry tests. Or DIDN'T they......... *suspicious*

Using a German boy (foreign exchange student lah) as an indicator, it is confirmed that the canteen poses a threat to the ecosystem. Poor Carl Sandmann has suffered multiple stomach aches (though, admittedly, not all of them were caused by the canteen. The nasi lemak stall played a significant role too) after consuming the "food".

After all is said and done, we Melawatians still end up eating canteen food. WHY?

Thankfully, our immunity system can withstand canteen food, but for how long more?

Lesson to be learnt- Melawatians will be Melawatians... it would take a lot to stop us from eating, haha.

This is a 100% crappyrighted work of fart by Welo and was blogged out @ 1:21 AM
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Saturday, September 02, 2006

Hmm..

I'm still attempting to recover from the loss of a beautiful post.

*breaks down and cries*

I miss it so much... but... nothing can bring it back...

*sob sob*

*wipes tears*

Alicia (or ALI, HAHA) tagged me.

Yaay I got tagged!

6 Weird Things About Me

I like opening tissue packets (the small pocket-sized ones, particularly the ones with a sticky label). It send this little Tingle of Happiness throughout my system, hehe.
...

*blank*

Whoa. And I thought I was an incredibly weird psycho person!!! NOOO!!! I'm...

*gasp*

NORMAL!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......

*hyperventilating*

This is bad. I can't even get past number TWO... WHY OH WHY...

Let's try again.

(refer above)
... *squeezes brain* Errm... I hate physics?

No no, that's not weird... I mean, everyone does, that's like-

*GAAACCK*

NOOO!!! It's NORMAL! I am NOT NORMAL!!!

Think think think...

(refer above above)
I like wrapping books. (THERE! I AM WEIRD!!! Hehe)
I am prejudiced towards Reader's Digest (for absolutely no reason).
I am deadly afraid of...

The sound...

of a toilet flushing.

HEYY... none of that serong thinking... I flush, okay... I just don't like the sound. Scary.

*shudder*
I enjoy stalking people. The more obsessed I become, the more fun it is, hehe.

Are you scared? ;)
I took 45 minutes to think of all this.

There!

Boy, that was difficult...

TOO difficult. That's gonna damage my rep... tsk tsk.

I tag... Yu Wen!!! Hehe.

No lessons (yet).

I should seek therapy, I'm still really traumatised by what happened to my other post. *sob*

This is a 100% crappyrighted work of fart by Welo and was blogged out @ 12:56 AM
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Sunday, July 23, 2006

Thou shalt not trust blogspot!!! Thou shalt not trust blogspot!!!

ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!

*hysterical screeches*

I GIVE UP.

To hell with the HTML codes... I've had enough... one Saturday night RUINED by blogspot's totally NOT user-friendly format. My perfectly good post (painstakingly typed for three hours yesterday) ruined by faulty HTML. How many people actually know how to find a precise tag which has gone wrong??? HOW MANY???

*cekiks invisible blogspot representative*

This world is a cruel one.

This is a 100% crappyrighted work of fart by Welo and was blogged out @ 1:29 AM
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Friday, June 16, 2006

Burning sensation in chest and throat.
Shallow, rapid breathing.
Haywire pulse.
Awkward, jerky movements.

Nah, those are not symptoms of some severe acute heart disease...

That was just what I went through when I ran all the way back to school yesterday afternoon.

I was supposed to pass up my Chemistry paper on Thursday for teacher to take down, and consequently, add more marks. Knowing my wonderful memory (just slightly better than Dory's), I forgot to bring it. After kan cheong-ing myself about the module, I forgot to bring the test paper.

So I asked Pn. Hafsah if I could bring it on Friday, and she was cool about it. Again, kan cheong-ed myself all over it. Yes, I actually brought the paper to school... put it at the front of my file too...

And I still forgot about it. Genius, Leow, real genius.

Came home, saw the paper, freaked and dashed back to school.

Actually, the dashing part lasted only thirty seconds... then I reached my physical limits and was forced to walk. My ankles started getting shaky (on the verge of getting sprained) and I had respiratory problems, but I kept on going...

I was strong...

Determination pulsed through my veins...

I did not stop for rest, and did not have food or water for fifteen minutes!

Yes, this is the story of an epic journey of a crazy girl from her house in J all the way to school, which would be approximately 400 meters. Seriously, if my fitness level was to be rated on a scale of 1-100, I'd get a -2 (at best).

Knowing the cruel ironies of life, Pn. Hafsah had already left. This could mean a 0 for my chemistry! NOOO!!!

Desperate, I turned to Cik Jannah for help. Look! A glimmer of hope! The teachers would be having a meeting at school on Saturday morning, thank God for choir.

Choir was cancelled. Very funny, God.

Anyway, left a note and my paper on her table, hopefully she'll see it... sigh.

*sob sob*

There are two important morals here...

Number one: Never ever ever forget to bring your test papers to school.
Number two: Thou shalt not consider watching TV as exercise.

Tata, must go watch TV now. Hehe just kidding...

This is a 100% crappyrighted work of fart by Welo and was blogged out @ 11:23 PM
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Saturday, June 10, 2006

If we were happy all the time, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the true meaning of happy, because everyday would be the same! So, this itself is proof that something good will come out of every bad thing.

Take the tariff rates increase, for example.

TNB (Tenaga Nasional Berhad, for those of you who do not know... they happen to have the monopoly of the electric trade here, if there even is such a thing, hehe) made life harder (it doesn't really have to be, SPM does the trick) for most of us when they announced higher tariff rates last month.

At least, I think it was last month.

Anyway, it went up by about 20 %, so that's one fifth more of our income gone to something that does not directly involve fun, joy or happiness. This means, of course, that we now have to cut down on our electrical consumption (Poh Yei is doing a very good job by charging her handphone at school, I should do the same, hehe).

That's really not as hard as it seems. We already have a few model citizens showing us the Path of Righteousness when it comes to saving electricity...

Example A: the SMK Taman Melawati canteen.

Let's give them a standing ovation for NEVER switching the fans on!!! Whooo... although all of us innocent students die of heat (if not heat, stomach aches), nevertheless, so much less power is used... *clap clap clap*

Saving electricity in your very own home 101:

When your sister/ brother is bathing, turn off the heater! Turn off the lights! Then scold them for wasting electricity... hehehe. This is an excellent example of how your lecture should sound like-

"Oiii!!! Stupid! Electricity now verrrry expensive you know! Pembazir! Know how to spend only! Tsk tsk!"

Disclaimer: do not bathe in their presence after executing the above.

The same goes for watching TV (good method of halau-ing them and hence taking control of the remote), computer usage (going online has never been easier), etc. etc..

And if they accuse you of tyranny and hypocrisy, you can tell them this...

"If you go online, you'll use up (insert fancy number correct to three decimal points) Watts of energy."

The smartmouth is sure to reply, "What difference does it make if YOU go online, then?"

"Then you won't go online! That's one person less online, hence reducing energy usage!"

If said sibling is smart, he/she would find that the above statement is really crap, to which you can just say, "Haha sucker you fell for my TNB trick"...

If said sibling is intellectually-challenged, he/she will just go away, leaving you to pursue leisurely activities of choice. (and white is up a pawn...)

Lesson to be learnt? Good things come out of every bad thing... hehe. Optimism rules.

Read the following and learn well from it.

I was having dinner at a Japanese restaurant (what was its name again? Fukiko? M-something? Ah yes, Muniacatta. Or Munakata. However it is you spell it), and wow... sashimi... tempura... *slurp* Miso soup...

Of course, the most sensible course of action here would be to vacuum the plate.

"Ooh, wasabi. Must try some."

*spreads some wasabi on a slice of sashimi*

-pause-

Wasabi (symbol Wa)- group 1.5 in the Periodic Table of Elements. Burns with green flame when reacted with saliva. Use only a very very very very small bit when conducting culinary experiments.

-back-

*BOOM*

Lesson to be learnt- thou shalt not insert wasabi-ed sashimi facing tongue. I think there's a slight dent on my tongue now... learn well, my children... do not ever underestimate the power of Wasabi.

This is a 100% crappyrighted work of fart by Welo and was blogged out @ 12:26 AM
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